The Travel Bug

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I received my new passport in the mail. Little did I know that flipping through its clean, crisp pages would get me thinking about my next big adventure. Surely, having just come back from Croatia, there was no need to jump on a plane for another trans-Atlantic flight. Besides, over Labor Day, I am heading to Nashville. Shouldn't that quash any need to venture far and away?

But staring at those blank pages felt like a challenge to begin filling them again. My last passport (which I received in the mail yesterday, holes punched in each corner) had stamps from all over Europe--England, Germany, Italy, and Greece just to name a few. While not completely full, it still reflected the great adventures I have taken these past ten years, and it made me wonder how will I begin these next ten years of exploration. If I had been my normal practical self, I would have put my passport away until next year. But the urge to go somewhere soon gnawed away at my mind these past couple of weeks. Add to that conversations with my good friend Lauren (my most dependable travel companion), and a destination became clear. Perhaps a bit unorthodox in nature, and clearly not high on the list of must-sees on anyone's list. But, in a lot of ways that makes it all the more appealing. I admit I would have never gone here if Lauren wasn't currently teaching there, but that is what makes this perhaps my most adventurous trip yet. Sick of me not naming the country yet? Wait no longer...in late October, I will be hopping on a plane to Kazakhstan.

Located in Central Asia, Kazakhstan is probably best known (if it is at all) because of Borat. Having never seen the movie, I am not sure what preconceived notions it has created in the mind of its viewers, but as I read more and more about it, I am fairly certain what I will experience will not be like that. It will be interesting to visit the ninth largest country (in area), to see the Tian Shan mountains, to experience the vestiges of the USSR, to see a mix of East and West. Compared to the other countries in the area, Kazakhstan is quite stable and has a strong developing economy, mainly based on the rich natural resources that remain fairly untapped (i.e. natural gas, oil, minerals, etc.), and it enjoys good relations with the United States. I will still have to go through the whole visa process, which is also new to me, but outside of jumping through hoops, I should have no trouble attaining one. And I guess I should start brushing up on my Russian :)  What excites me most of all is that doing this will be just the beginning to many more unorthodox journeys...I just know it!

So, if you were to jump on a plane now to somewhere completely off-the-wall, where would it be?

A Few Steps Forward

So, in an attempt shake things up a bit without throwing my entire world off-kilter, I decided earlier this week to turn in a volunteer application for the local library. Today, I met with the volunteer coordinator, and it looks like pretty soon, I will have my chance to work in an actual library. (After I mentioned I had my masters in library science, she looked puzzled and asked several times during the very short interview why exactly I wasn't working in a library. It was not the easiest question to answer.) Assuredly, you will hear more as this whole thing develops, but I am looking forward to this new challenge.  All that I have to wait for is my background check to clear (I am pretty sure there are no felonies on there...), and I should be meeting with someone to begin the training process.  Hooray!

And in another bit of happy news, my renewed passport came in the mail yesterday. It was weird not having my passport for the past month and a half. I didn't realize how much I valued the idea of being able to book a last-minute flight somewhere overseas and not have to worry about proper documentation. The feeling must attest to some greater need of not being "trapped," I guess. While I have no plans to leave the country quite yet, there have been some discussions of an upcoming trip abroad (some plans have not been so serious--a quick flight over to Italy for some authentic Sicilian cuisine--while others are truly being considered dependent on how schedules all work out for the friend I intend to visit). I do know, though, that it is looking pretty certain that come Labor Day weekend, I will have a quick jaunt over to Nashville to visit my best friend and her family. In doing so, I will get to meet her new daughter (yet to be born, but her birth is imminent) and visit a new city. I am already counting down the days.

Other than that, not a whole lot new in my world. I am looking for some inspiration to writing more intriguing blog posts, but for now, a weekly update is all you are going to get!

Lazy Days

Outside, the sun blazes down, edging the temperature ever higher. The thick blanket of humidity adds another layer of warmth, making any venture from the comfort of air conditioned climes feel a bit like a slog through the rain forest. The height of summer has arrived here in Kansas City, and with it, a slowing of time and a diminishing sense of urgency. It is just too hot to rush about with a crazed need to check fifteen things off one's to-do list in under an hour. Whatever there is that needs to be done will certainly get done in time. 

I, for one, am inclined to remain holed up inside my house, a rare foray into laziness that I am quite enjoying. I started the morning with an accustomed level of busyness, making breakfast, prepping meals for the week, etc. Yet, once I sat down to enjoy my breakfast, I realized I had no desire to do a whole lot else today. I read the paper, completed the New York Times crossword, and decided that if all I achieved today was sitting back with a tall glass of ice water and enjoying a good book, I would consider it a success. No need to take a long walk that in this heat would leave me drenched in sweat, hot, irritable, and exhausted if I don't really want to. No reason to feel guilty for hiding away from the abundant sunshine for the day. Every reason to embrace this lull and allow myself some time to recharge for whatever may come these next few days. I hope each of you, too, enjoys a day of peace, a day where you do just as you please to prepare for the week. Here are to the lazy days of summer, of which there are plenty more to come.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

Or so the saying goes. And in reality, it is true. Knowing this doesn't make life all the easier, particularly after a week spent in a beautiful country enjoying the company of three great fellow adventurers and challenging myself both mentally and physically. So, in my typical fashion, I began mourning the loss before things were even over. And it is with this post I bring my musings on my trip to an end, leaving my memories behind for the time being and moving forward to wherever life takes me next...

The final day of our tour was to be the most challenging hike (at least it ended up taking the most time of all the other hikes and I at least was running on fumes energy-wise) up to the top of Mt. Ucka. I wasn't ready to move on. Partially, I knew saying good-bye put me all the closer to returning home, back to a reality with which I had been struggling a lot previous to my trip. I still had two days of travel ahead of me (my solo trip up to Slovenia), but the heart of my vacation was about to end. I also knew that in some ways, as Marty, Tom, Davor, and I went our separate ways, the spell would be broken and the friendship and camaraderie we had experienced during this week would be challenged by time and distance. Would we remain in touch as we had promised or would our time together transform into nothing more but fond memories we share with whomever is willing to listen? Previous experiences had made me skeptical, but I remain encouraged that this will not happen this time around.

Our Final Destination

So, while I began the day with a smile on my face and ready to face the world, the higher we climbed, the bleaker my attitude became. Despite enjoying cherries pulled directly from the tree and wild strawberries full of flavor, a bright blue sky, and majestic views, my attitude gradually soured. My head was filled with thoughts of looming decisions, unresolved issues, and letting go. I found myself lingering, falling behind the group to put more distance physically between myself  and the others in some twisted attempt to add distance emotionally, convincing myself doing so would make it easier to get on the train the next day.

(Some of you may have noticed this, but I hate saying good-bye. If given the choice, I would head out unnoticed without any acknowledgement or fuss. There have been several times in my life that I have left without so much as a word, telling only a few select people, and then slipping away.)

I didn't succeed in making myself tangential that day. It really is hard to do when there are only four of you, and even in this short time, the others recognized something was bothering me. As we hunkered down atop the peak, trying to find some shelter from the chilling wind, we talked about the next steps in our journey. For Tom and Marty, it was a trip to Split to visit with their son and then down along the coast to Dubrovnik with stops along the way. For Davor, a day's rest before embarking on his next tour. For me Slovenia, and then, who knows? I had mentioned my current quandary regarding what I was doing with my life, and their kind words and support about what lay ahead were almost enough to make me cry (I really was a bit on edge this last day...and their compassion made me realize just how much more difficult it would be the next day).

So, I vowed as we descended to stop my foolishness and to embrace the time left instead of shutting myself completely down. I admit to falling behind yet again as we climbed down, but this time instead of unbidden thoughts about what was to come, strains of music flooded my mind in an attempt to distract myself from my seemingly inevitable slide down the mountain. Of all the hikes, this was the steepest downhill path, and I was quite nervous...scared even if I were to be honest. I have to say, singing to yourself works wonders!  I got down without falling once, and outside of a few blisters (my first of the entire trip), I managed to emerge unscathed.

Still, at the end of the hike, I was sad. It was pretty much over, and while the others had a lot to look forward to, I wasn't feeling quite in the same position. Slovenia beckoned, but its call wasn't as alluring as it had been when I first booked that leg of the trip. (This was perhaps my first inclination ever that traveling by oneself can indeed get lonely.) And too soon after that, I would be back in Kansas City and then heading to a quick trip to Texas that I was dreading. Reality loomed far too heavily in front of me, but somehow, I managed to push it away from my mind that evening. Our last meal together was another delicious offering, and I indulged in a couple of beers to celebrate a week's worth of successful adventures. For once, I was focused on what was, not what was to come.

While Marty bowed out early that evening, Tom, Davor, and I lingered at the table, and even sought out somewhere else to go after dinner was finished. Strangely enough, there is not a whole lot open (ok

I was up early (no surprises there), and I was packed and ready to go in no time. I tried to kill more time before heading downstairs because I had the feeling I would be alone for breakfast, but I couldn't focus on my writing or anything else, so I made my descent. My instincts proved to be accurate, so I ate my meal alone. I waited for about 45 minutes to see if anyone else would be along, and when that didn't happen, I went upstairs to check I had everything for about the tenth time. The rest of the morning passed in a blur of anxiety and sadness on my part. I felt silly feeling so emotional, which in turn made me adopt the distant air from the day before. When the others had finished their breakfasts, and we had loaded into the van, we drove to Rijeka.

The bus station was our first stop. Tom and Marty were buzzing with energy, their excitement to see their son not at all inhibited by the prospect of an eight-hour bus ride, and amid their enthusiasm, it was impossible not to smile for them. Before they made their way to the ticketing area, though, they made sure to get a picture of all us together. And then, in a flurry of activity, there were hugs and promises and perhaps a few tears, and it was time for them to go. These things always seem to happen so quickly it takes me a long time to process what had occurred. I hopped back into the van, not looking forward to the next good-bye either. I had even considered asking Davor which direction to head and offer to walk instead of being dropped off to save him the trip in order to endure yet another good-bye.

When we did get to the train station, I found myself unsure what to say. With Tom and Marty, I had taken a moment to write a short letter expressing just how much it meant to me to share this vacation with them. I couldn't find the right words to do the same for Davor, and despite my hopes that I would suddenly be blessed with something to say, I made a muddled attempt to express my gratitude and appreciation for everything. I don't remember what I said, but I have the distinct impression it was garbled and awkward, and I felt a little embarrassed by it. I wanted it over as quickly as possible, so with a final smile and a quick hug, I grabbed my bags and headed into the station. Another chapter closed, and I was back to being super-independent solo traveler, but with a little more hesitance in my step and questions in my mind about the value in being SO independent.

And here, I close the chapter to this year's big adventure, returning to my quiet, unexciting life of spreadsheets and proofreading, books and blogs, solitary evenings and weekends. After a month of this, I am feeling the urge to shake things up. Stay tuned...perhaps things will change.