Tossing and Turning

The last rumblings of thunder are fading into the background as the latest round of storms passes through. I wish I could say I had slept through the entire thing, but as I have been for the past three nights, I am wide awake, thinking of nothing in particular yet finding sleep escaping me. I am not a stranger to these sleepless nights, but they never get easier to get through. And I should make it clear that inevitably I will get three or four hours of sleep. It is just falling asleep that can be rough.

That said, though, overall it has been a fabulous day. I finally made my shopping trip, which even I have to admit was far more successful than I had hoped. It was one of those rare days where I felt okay going into the changing room (normally, I feel too lazy to do so), and even better, actually like how things looked on me. I found myself gravitating to a wide array of extremely feminine styles, which I have noticed happening the older I am. I swear that if I could pull the look off, I would spend much of my time in long, flowing dresses or loose peasant tops and jeans. Kind of that nouveau-bohemian/hippie look. The look on me is still a bit too disconcerting for me to go ahead and buy the clothes, but it was fun to try on a few things that would have added some variety to my wardrobe. Perhaps I can gradually introduce some pieces and see where it leads to from there. As it stands, I had to pry myself away from the store so my bank account wouldn't take an even bigger hit than it was already going to sustain for my minimal purchases.

I am plotting out my day for tomorrow (or I guess, really it is today). I am not sure yet what I will fill it with. I am tempted to bake something again, but I keep waffling between something like blueberry muffins to something a little more complicated like a strawberry tart (or more likely, strawberry tartlets).  There is also a recipe for easy puff pastry that I want to try, but I am not certain what I want to put in said puff pastry. Oh, the burden of having too many choices :)  (Outside of baking, I will probably do my typical weekly cleaning which is ever so exciting.)

And as you can see, it isn't really anything all that interesting keeping me up at night. I am not wrestling with a guilty conscience, pondering a difficult decision, or even worrying about getting things done. It is just as if a flip has been switched that says "no sleep tonight." I recognize that sitting here, blogging, is not an ideal way to make myself sleepy--something about the artificial light of the computer causing problems and all that fun stuff, but nothing else has worked in the past, either, so there you go...

Anyway, the night draws on, and I should probably attempt sleep again soon. I promise the next post will be more interesting--per a request from a friend, I am going to attempt to blog about some of my past travels in anticipation of my upcoming adventure (one week!). I promise it will be more interesting than this :)  Have to say, glad that world didn't end to day...I would have been upset about missing out on my vacation :)

Consumerism Strikes

Eleven days and counting. Yeah, I am that annoying person who announces to the world just how long it is until she goes on vacation. Still, I keep thinking how little time that is and how much more I need to do. It is getting to the point that it is a bit of distraction at work.  (Do not worry, however. I am still an upstanding employee making sure that all of her responsibilities have been taken care of before she lets her mind start to wander...it is a bit too soon to let my mind go on vacation just yet).  What is weird is that right now, I am not so much thinking of all the fun things that I will do on my vacation. Instead, I have this urgent need to shop. It is a compulsion I feel rarely, but when I do, it certainly hits with a vengence.

So, what is it that I am in the market for?  Well, for starters, I want some new shorts. Granted, I have a couple of pairs of shorts that (probably) fit and would work just fine. However, I am afraid they won't be as comfortable as I want them to be, and it would help if they are the wash and wear type. You never know what you might encounter along the trail... To go with my new shorts, I will need a few new t-shirts that, again, lend themselves to quick drying for wash & wear use. And it wouldn't hurt if they look good. Most of my t-shirts at home are rather shapeless and blah. If I am going to travel, I should travel in style, right? Which leads me to finding a cute dress. While I enjoy the versatility of the typical tourist uniform of t-shirts and shorts, there may be a couple of times during this trip that I want to look a little nicer. You know, if somehow I work up the nerve to go out at night for a nice dinner or something. I want to have something available that will help me look a little less like a vagabond and...dare I say it...look cute. (Believe it or not, being cute/attractive or whatever is not usually on my top list of priorities when I choose my wardrobe. I tend to adopt a more utilitarian perspective, hoping to achieve a level of professionalism that doesn't really call too much attention to me.) When traveling, though, I like to leave behind some of my more reserved nature and be open to exploring different experiences (still while exercising caution! I know the challenges out there for people traveling solo, so don't think I see traveling as an opportunity to leave ALL senses behind.) Again, one of the reasons I love to travel--no one has preconceived notions of who I am, and so that frees me from living up to expectations. (And, yes, I recognize that I can adopt this mentality in my day-to-day life, but it is a little harder since I easily allow myself to be pigeon-holed into a certain role. Hmm...lots of asides in this post. Oops!)  If I do find something, I'll let you all know. And if you know of any good places to find cute dresses, that would be helfpul, too...

Besides a few new outfits, I am thinking I need a new camera. I didn't think I needed a new camera until a friend showed me her new camera the other day. Then it got me thinking I should trade up to something a little less bulky than what I currently own.  I don't need anything super fancy as taking pictures often comes as an afterthought. But, if it is a bit more compact, it will make my life just that much easier. Right?

So, I completely feel like I have been lured in by the typical materialistic messages to which we are all exposed daily. Yet, since I so rarely indulge in good old consumerism, I feel a little less guilty in buying things that I really have no need for. My when I actually have the time to indulge (this weekend), the urge will have lessened significantly, and I will not be inclined to spend quite as much. And, I tend to be extremely picky, so the likelihood I will find something I want to buy is even less certain. We'll see.