Just the Beginning

I used to say that I lose a small piece of my heart every time I travel, falling in love at least a little bit with the destination, its people, and the experiences and leaving a part of me behind. However, it really makes no sense to think of it as a loss. More accurately, my heart grows with each new experience as I explore, learn, and live. And what is life really about if not growing and, in turn, helping others grow, too?

My time in Croatia proved far more expansive than I could have ever imagined. The group I traveled with was small--it was just me, an amazing couple from Calgary, and our intelligent and ever-so patient guide. Together, we explored the innumerable natural treasures of Croatia, engaged in conversations about just about anything, and had a lot of fun.

Over the next couple of weeks, I hope to use this blog not only to chronicle my time outdoors, but to apply some of what I learned to my life now. Yes, this trip was meant to be one that transported me away from the worries of day-to-day life, but it is impossible for me to divorce my experiences in Croatia from the context in which the needs was created. (Basically, there was a reason I needed to get away, and if I don't figure out what that was, much of the perspective I have gained this past 10 days will be lost.)

As will soon become apparent, my time in Croatia did something I have hope would happen--it has sparked my desire to write again. I have written and rewritten accounts of the past few days, several pages of thoughts, impressions, and even a few questions. I will do my best to spare you of all the excessive details, distilling my words to reflect only the more interesting experiences and insights. Please be patient, though, because I am still searching for the write voice in which to share these stories.  Also, if you want to hear more about something, please ask! Although, I am not really sure if anyone would dare ask me for more details...:)

There is a lot to go through, and so much that is important to me but may be of little interest to you. Now it is just a matter of catering to your needs.

A Beginning

I used to write all the time. Not just meaningless blog posts that a few of my friends kindly read, but actually stories that I had hoped one day would turn into something more. It isn't so much that I lack ideas--even now, I snippets of stories pop into my head randomly, playing on the edges of my mind begging to be captured and given life. It is that I lack the discipline to see the stories through by discovering the context in which these snippets should be housed.  A scene from the story may be powerful, but without the supporting narrative, it leaves the reader wanting. I am not an established enough writer to do this, and I probably never will be. 

However, in line with the purpose of this blog, I am challenging myself to revisit some of my past works to move them along to a more completed state. Today, I post the beginning of the last story I wrote. It is about four years old (my writers block has been a heavy presence for far too long), and it has a long way to go before it should really be posted, but it is a beginning.  Please forgive some of the hackneyed expressions and overuse of cliche :)

She would not admit that she was lost, maintaining that one could not be lost if she did not have a destination in the first place.  She walked anxiously down the unfamiliar street, looking for places to duck into for shelter in case the threatening gray sky actually opened up with the chilled rain forecast for the afternoon.  Nothing appeared promising. Mist fell from the sky.  Turning up the collar of her thin coat, she walked on. She began to shiver.

Her mind wandered from finding a particular destination to just looking for somewhere to wait out the rain.  The bus would come at 5:00, but it was only 3:00.  She was not ready to head back to the hotel anyway.  She was out wandering these strange streets precisely because she wanted to get away from the hotel.  She feared that a huge confrontation awaited her there, and delaying the inevitable was her most appealing option.  The cold permeated her skin, causing her to ache.  She had to get off the street, but nothing was open.  She came upon a bench, and sat there.  Gathering herself into a little ball to preserve what warmth she could, she gazed ahead of her.  Her situation had no clear solution.  Self-pity enveloped her.

From his window, the young man watched a figure wandering down the street.  He made out that the figure was a young woman, but more than that he could not determine.  To him, she appeared confused and lost, yet determined.  He continued watching her as she drew closer to his apartment building.  As the rain began, he watched as she drew up her collar and bravely faced the weather.  Her shivering soon became apparent, and a twinge of pity touched his heart.  She passed by his window, going only a few feet further and stopping at the bench.  He watched as she curled up like a little child, sheltering herself in the best way possible.  He saw her as something fragile and helpless, and this stirred something within him that led to his grabbing a heavy coat and bolting out of the apartment. 

The shuffling of his boots startled her out of her stupor.  Immediately, she sprang up and started walking down the street.

“Please, don’t go anywhere.  Are you ok?” the words spewed from his mouth in an attempt to stop her before she got very far.  She slowed but didn’t stop completely. 

"You look lost.  If you would like some help, I can get you back to wherever you need to go,” he tried again.  His voice was soft and touched with the beautiful accent characteristic of the area.  Something about it made her stop and even look over her shoulder.  In spite of the rain, he saw that her eyes were red from crying and her cheeks stained with tears. 

“Can you show me how to get to the edge of the world?” she muttered, a bemused smile touching her lips.  “I think that should be far enough away to escape.” 

Not quite sure how to reply, he said the first thing that came to his mind.  “No, but I can show you to my apartment.”

“A bit forward don’t you think?” her face lighting up with a real smile.  “I usually don’t go to a man’s apartment unless I know him, but for you, I might make an exception.”

She thought she caught the hint of a blush, but she could not tell if it was caused by what she said or if the bitter wind was irritating his skin. 

“I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I can’t accept.  I really am not at my best for company at the moment.”  With this she turned on her heel and once again walked into the wind and the rain. 

Before she took two steps, she felt his strong hand on her shoulder and heard his voice saying, “I think you should come with me.  Please.”  Something about his tone, one that was not threatening but rather deeply sympathetic, caused her to acquiesce and follow him to his apartment.